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How do you know if it is love or lust?

Love or Lust
Love or Lust

How can tell if what you feel for that new person in your life is real love or lust? Relationship expert Gary Amers at www.amerscoaching.com says that there are ten indicators that you are in love:

1. You become like an eager child who is about to open their favourite Christmas present: Your heart and subconscious knows what you are wanting and recognises this is the one – long before your conscious mind can understand it 

2. You light up every time you think of them: Their presence creates an instant ‘burst’ of adrenaline.

3. You feel sick in your stomach: Falling in love can make you feel out of control so your stomach can be unsettled. 

4. You feel like you have known this person a very long time: You have been creating this love for a long time and when you meet them in person your subconscious spots them immediately.

5. Nothing can distract you from them: You will cancel all bookings for this person. 

6. This person aligns with what’s important to you in life: Either they have similar values, or you both appreciate your opposing values.

7. You feel safe – if you are in love: When you are in love, this is your place to be your true self, which brings a sense of security. 

8. You find yourself doing whatever makes them happy: When you fall in love, you will always do things for your partner, even if you don’t particularly want to.

9. When you are in love, you just want to give: This is programmed so you will find yourself just wanting to give when it’s true love. 

10. You will fantasise about your future: Being in love always makes you envision your future more than any other activity. You will go through wedding days and imagining losing them.

Lust or Love
Lust or Love

5 Signs that it is just lust

1.  You fancy a bite, but you know nothing about them: Love is an understanding; lust is an adventure.

2.  There can be little reciprocity: Either you give a lot, and they don’t return, or vice-versa; this is one-sided lust.

3.  You feel uneasy about introducing them to friends: We can feel embarrassed or uneasy about the people we lust after.

4.  Your heart isn’t in it – but your head is: Your heart knows what you need, what you desire and what you deserve, but your head can think otherwise.

5.  You don’t make plans: Lust is a feeling of spontaneity and adventure – so there is little planning. Love likes to plan and prepare.

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